YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
We need to rekindle our bromance
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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