btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
