I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
