Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
