Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize