Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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