And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
He kissed a someone with a penis
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
