so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
