How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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