If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
