His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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