So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
