Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
