Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize