you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Couch. On fire.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
