Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
