so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
