So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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