I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
