you would pick up someone in the library
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
