Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
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