Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
