I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
