Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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