Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
