I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
