Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I don't deserve a penis
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I FOUND THE LEGS
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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