I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
worst night to have a conscience
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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