my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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