just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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