hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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