That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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