It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I wish I could punch you in the face.
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
