As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
