Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
