JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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