how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
