it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
