i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Congratulations! We have a period
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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