This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
