it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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