Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize