Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
