They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
