Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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