I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
