dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
