I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
