If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
