What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
