we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
