WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
