Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
