Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
