Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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