i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Come see our sink grown plant.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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