"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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