You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
