discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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