if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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