i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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