I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
He? As in you personified your dick?
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
