check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
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