That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
