her vagina looked like bernie madoff
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
