16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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