i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
